A new nomenclature: The pangs of parents
By Dr. Sarbeswar Mohapatra
Parents are often described as living gods, and rightly so. Their love, sacrifice, patience, and dedication shape the lives of their children from infancy to adulthood. The true value of parents is perhaps best understood by those who have grown up without them, such as the inmates of orphanages, who long for the affection, guidance, and security that only parents can provide.
It is therefore painful to witness a disturbing trend emerging in society. Many grown-up children casually refer to their ageing parents as “Buddha” and “Buddhi” (old man and old woman) instead of addressing them with respect as father or mother. Such expressions, often uttered without a trace of embarrassment, reflect a gradual erosion of values and sensitivity towards those who dedicated their lives to raising them.
As children grow up, complete their education, secure employment, and establish families of their own, their priorities naturally change. However, in many cases, this transition leads to emotional detachment from elderly parents. Over time, some begin to perceive ageing parents as burdens rather than blessings. The result is a weakening of family bonds and a gradual fragmentation of the social fabric.
The problem often extends beyond neglect. Elderly parents are increasingly subjected to criticism, humiliation, and disrespect, sometimes even in the presence of relatives and outsiders. Values such as empathy, gratitude, responsibility, and humanity are sacrificed at the altar of ego and materialism. There are numerous instances where parents are pressured into transferring property, bank deposits, and other assets to their children. Once these assets change hands, many elderly individuals find themselves vulnerable to physical, emotional, financial, and social abuse.
Some are treated as unpaid domestic workers, expected to perform household chores despite advancing age and declining health. Others are denied proper food, care, and dignity. In extreme cases, elderly parents are abandoned, assaulted, or thrown out of their homes. Some are left at bus stands, railway stations, or pilgrimage centres under deceptive pretexts. While old-age homes may offer shelter and companionship, they can never replace the warmth and emotional comfort of one’s own home.
Old age itself is a challenging phase of life. Physical weakness, reduced mobility, hearing and vision impairments, memory-related disorders, and chronic ailments such as diabetes, hypertension, and kidney or liver diseases often become part of daily existence. At such a stage, what parents need most is not criticism but compassion. Spending time with them, attending to their medical needs, listening patiently, ensuring their comfort, and making them feel valued can significantly improve their quality of life and emotional well-being.
India has recognised the importance of protecting senior citizens through the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007. The law makes it a legal obligation for children and legal heirs to provide maintenance, including food, clothing, residence, and medical care, to elderly parents and senior citizens. It also provides for maintenance tribunals, protection of property rights, and penalties for neglect and abandonment.
Ironically, many victims hesitate to seek legal remedies because they do not wish to expose or disgrace their families. Even when cases come to light, parents often forgive their children, allowing offenders to escape with little more than a warning. Consequently, their suffering continues.
Indian society has long been rooted in values of respect, devotion, and care for elders. However, the rise of nuclear families, growing materialism, and the relentless pursuit of wealth have weakened traditional family structures. This trend deserves urgent attention. Every individual should remember that ageing is inevitable, and today’s youth are tomorrow’s senior citizens.
A little compassion, awareness, and responsibility can go a long way in restoring dignity to our elderly population. By standing against abuse and reporting such cases to the appropriate authorities, society can help ensure that parents spend their final years with the respect, care, and affection they truly deserve.
The writer is an educationist and freethinker. The views expressed are personal.
